Home Truths
by LaurenBrogs89
Summary: Rachel and Jesse both have some things to say to each other after the Prom. T for slight sexual situations.  Oneshot


She slipped quietly from the over-crowded gym, desperately hoping that he hadn't left after he was kicked out, with a multitude of thoughts in her head. She really hoped he was still here as she really did not want to walk home in her heels. (Even in her head this feels like an excuse, she really wants to see if he is OK. She also would quite like someone to comfort her. Her face hurts quite a lot)

Prom was definitely not all it cracked up to be. As with most things in her life, she had built this day up in her mind beyond all reason. It would have been impossible for it to actually be as good as she imagined it would be. This was one of the greatest draw backs of her over active imagination. When she really thought about it, her over active imagination was probably one of the biggest reasons people found her so odd. She could never focus on the here and now, she was always planning what would come next in the musical of her life. And people in Lima seemed so doggedly determined to live simply in the here and now and not think about their future at all. Well not about a future that contained anything more than 2.4 children and a generic job.

All accept the person she was searching for now. He had burst into her life with a song and a smirk, making his mark on her heart almost immediately. Finally, here was someone who understood her, who wanted more than that average lifestyle that Lima was so willing to provide. Things with Jesse were never boring or predictable for either party. Even when he cracked an egg on her head a part of her was thinking what a good chapter it would make in her autobiography. He was like crack; feeding her drama addiction.

It was inevitable that they would hurt each other. They could never fully commit to one another as they both had one eye to the future at all times and there was guilt and wrongdoings on both sides. What had annoyed Rachel in the months that they spent apart was the niggling realisation that had she been in his position, the old Rachel would have done exactly the same thing (she sometimes things she would have even done it better and in more spectacular fashion). It doesn't mean she wasn't devastated. The new Rachel has a Jesse sized hole in her heart has been throbbing the entire time he has been gone. Without him by her side she has found it increasingly difficult to ignore the hurtful comments that are purposefully thrown her way in almost every corner of her life.

He seems different now though and she probably thinks he feels the same way about her. The real world has instilled in him a sense of humility that he has never had before although he still has that irresistible charm that pulled her in in the first place. She thinks he is probably very disappointed in the person she is now.

She spots him in the corner of the parking lot and tries to reign in her thoughts. Seeing him again is unbelievably difficult for her. She is trying desperately to not let him back into her heart and hurt her again, although she understands why he did it and would probably have done the same it still nearly killed her. She never wants him to find out that her entire summer was spent under her duvet listening to their playlist, crying and doing very little of anything else, including eating or drinking. She lost a dangerous amount of weight and had to work extremely hard to even put half of it back on. She thinks if she lets him in and he hurts her again she might not survive this time.

It is extremely ironic that most of her fellow New Directions think she was a lot more heart broken when Finn broke up with her. It shows how much they really care about her. In reality she was only with him because he was nice and safe and she knew he could never hurt her because her feelings for him were only skin deep. She did get private pleasure that her heart broken act was so convincing though, it bodes well for Broadway. In hindsight, trying to fit in by being with Finn has done a lot more damage than it has good and her ill-conceived attempt to get over Jesse made her feel even worse about herself.

She knocks on the window to his Range Rover.

"Jesse?"

He leans over and opens the door for her.

She climbs in, in what she hopes is a graceful manner, although she doubts it as she is very small and the car is very tall.

He oozes concern as he asks, "What happened to your face?"

"Quinn." She replies simply with her eyes towards the floor. Although she comforted Quinn, she has never been slapped before and she thinks she is probably in a little bit of shock. Her face is throbbing and she knows it will probably bruise and this thought more than any other one has her on the verge of tears. Not because of vanity, she already has enough people telling her how ugly she is on a daily basis, but because this will make the teasing and the whispering ten times worse.

He leans over and kisses her cheek softly. "Hey, don't cry. We match."

Her head snaps up and she sees the livid purple bruise breaking out around his eye and a pang of guilt shoots through her.

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. You didn't punch me. Although I have absolute conviction that if you did decide to use physical violence I would come away with significantly worse injuries than this." He quips with a smirk etched on his face and a teasing glint in his eye.

He is definitely making it extremely difficult to stay mad at him. She has already let her guard down enough to let him whisper absolutely filthy things in her ear whilst they were dancing. Combined with the teasing kisses he was pressing insistently to the heated flesh of her neck nearly had her dropping her panties right in the middle of the dance floor. She is angry at herself for being so easy. He just felt so good and she has missed him so much. It felt amazing to finally have the Jesse sized hole in her heart throbbing for an entirely different reason.

She has absolutely no idea what this is to him. Maybe he's just bored and making the best out of being back in Lima by having a quick fling with her. Her self confidence is so low after this year she can't quite believe he is back simply to be with her.

She looks up at him and he is looking at her with such a searching look she suddenly feels very shy.

"What?"

"What's happened to you this year Rachel? Was it all my fault?"

Trust him to be so egotistical. "I don't know what you mean."

"Before I left you were this ball of vibrancy that was so determined to be a star that she didn't care what anyone thought of her. And don't think I haven't noticed that you are at least 20 pounds lighter than you used to be."

Now she's angry. How dare he come here and be all perceptive and notice things that her team mates who have been with her all year haven't seen. It's not fair that he still knows her so well after destroying her so completely.

"Life happened Jesse." She states in a voice that is as cold as she can manage. "You gave me a glimpse of what it is like to have someone who understands you completely and then you ripped it away in the most painful way you could think of and I had to go back to having absolutely no one. And I am so angry at you for leaving me but I'm even more angry that I don't even care I just really really want you to kiss me..."

Their lips moved together in a way that was almost violent in its urgency. His strong arms pulled her from her spot in the passenger seat to land straddled over his lap. The bulge in his pants startled her. She deepened the kiss, plunging her tongue into his mouth and grinding down on his erection. He wrenched his lips away from hers with a tortured moan.

He moved his hands to her hips with a firm grasp, effectively immobilizing her. "Rachel you need to stop..."

Oh God. She was right, he didn't want her. She wished his grip on her wasn't so tight as all she could think about was getting out of this car. No one ever wanted her. She had no idea what it was about her that made her so disgusting. She was pulled out of her internal self hatred monologue by the realisation that he was still talking.

"... and I really don't think that if you keep doing that I'll be able to stop myself from cumming in my pants and I really did mean what I said about epic romance all those months ago."

"You do want me."

"Of course I do you crazy gorgeous girl. I got punched in the face for you, I think that really should lead you to believe me. You really have had a hard year haven't you?"

She nodded and steeled herself. She was going to tell him everything. She needed to stop being this weak impersonation of her former self. She needed to stop letting everyone in the Glee Club walk all over her. She was going to be a star, he would help her get back on track.

"Before we got together I thought I was the only person like me in the entire world. I was OK with being on my own as I didn't want anyone to drag me down. And then you came along and gave me everything I had never thought possible and then you took it all away without a backwards glance. Having to go back to being the girl everybody ridiculed seemed so much harder after I knew what it was like to be cherished and understood and i lost myself. I started doing things to fit in, I changed the way I dress, I cut my hair, I stopped fighting for all the solo's in Glee. The future just didn't seem worth it anymore if I had to do it all alone."

She took a deep breath; this part was going to be the hardest.

"And now you've come back and I've let you back in and it's not even been a week. You were responsible for the absolute worst thing that's happened to me in my entire life and you're the only one who can make it better. How much of a fool does that make me?"

He was silent. He looked completely shocked. Again rachel felt supremely embarrassed by their close proximity, two minutes ago she had been grinding in his lap and now she was boring her heart out to him. She was such a headcase. She attempted to pull away from him.

He dug his fingers into her hips to keep her where she was.

"Rachel. Look at me."

He said it in such a commanding tone she could not help but obey. She had always loved that he was the one person she would willingly give control to.

"I am an idiot. Finn is an idiot. Damn it your entire school is full of idiots. We have all joined forces in all our idiocy to somehow make you doubt yourself. Let me tell you now, we were wrong. You are gorgeous and talented and none of us could stand the fact that you are infinitely better than all of us and destined for a future so bright we were blinded by it. See above re: idiots. "

He leaned up to her face and brought his lips to hers in a kiss that was as sweet as their previous had been passionate. It was a kiss full of promise and hope for the future.

"Now you really are going to have to get off my lap because we are in the McKinley High parking lot and I think Prom is about to end."

He lifted her off his lap and back into the passenger seat with such a sincere look on his face that she couldn't help but smile at him. It wasn't a full on Rachel Berry grin but it was getting there.

"Take me home Jesse, I have some ideas for Nationals and I want you to help me pick out what solo I am going to execute flawlessly for the judges."

He nodded and quickly turned the ignition and put the car in drive. She seemed more like her old self already. It's amazing what 10 minutes of the St James charm can do for a girl.


End file.
